“Lord, let me know my end,
and what is the measure of my days;
let me know how fleeting my life is.
You have made my days a few handbreadths,
and my lifetime is as nothing in your sight.
Surely everyone stands as a mere breath.
Surely everyone goes about like a shadow.
Surely for nothing, they are in turmoil,
they heap up and do not know who will gather.
And now what do I wait for?
My hope is in you…
Hear my prayer, O Lord:
and give ear to my cry;
do not hold your peace to my tears.
For I am your passing guest,
an alien, like all my forebearers.”
– Psalm 39
I have been reading Eugene Peterson’s Christ Plays in Ten Thousand Places: A Conversation in Spiritual Theology and I just finished the long chapter on “Christ Plays in Creation.” His thoughts on Sabbath have me reeling and wondering many things. “We inhabit a mystery. We must not pretend to know too much.” Reading Psalm 39 on Monday led me to wonder about how often we think of time as either guaranteed (not cherishing what is, forgetting that it is a gift) or too scarce (angry at how “little” of it we have).
With a window, propped to hear the birds singing and conversing, I ignore the ticking clock and name for me to remember…
Patience requires nothing of me. I am awed to wait and wonder at all that grows not at my own initiative. I take in all the beauty that emerges due to Another’s design.
Patience requires everything of me. I am asked to wait and wonder at all that I wish to actively tend and nurture, produce and share – but I must wait my turn in Life’s Timing that I cannot control but I can submit to in frustration and joy, confusion and gratitude.
Patience says that all is temporary, so do not miss this moment and all that cannot last within it. Do not assume the moment needs MORE – missing that it is already brimming with more than we could ever take in, even if we tried.
Patience says that all is abundant, so be content with missing some of the moments or being unable to take it all in. There is more than enough. Patience says that life’s plentitude does not fade but extravagantly, almost arrogantly continues. Do not assume the moment needs CAPTURING – missing that the glory witnessed continues and cannot ever be erased.
Patience allows the eternal to exist right now – abundantly in the temporary.
Its power lingers as children come in and climb into my lap, asking for nutella with bread and if they woke early enough to have their 30 minutes of computer time. Then patience begins to interact with the ticking of the clock and I am beckoned back into the world of timed minutes. Already I am late in getting ready, but I just could not help myself. I could not help but believe that it is all true – that the birds singing, the cool air coming in the window, and the abundance of life was asking to be noticed and remembered.
But the school bell rings in an hour and 15 minutes. The house must wake, move, and have its begin in order to make it on time.
Time marches on, but thank God for all that has been and all that remains to be enjoyed. Surely, even on a Friday morning, there will be enough of it.