Fragility, Fear, Gratitude

Standard

Coming back in my office, I listened to the voicemail from daycare – “James had an accident… he’s ok, but…”  The world stands still.  The awareness that my son had been hurt, had experienced pain, had cried out and I had been elsewhere – unable to hug, comfort, and wipe tears.

It ended up being nothing too bad, but I was aware that with the smallest change in the accident, it would have been everything.  One inch higher and it would have scratched the eyeball – it could have meant loss of sight, loss of parental peace and confidence, loss of life as we know it.

Driving to pick him up that afternoon, I entered that space – the space where life stands still.  It is the frightening space where the Fragility of life rears its ugly head and demands that you pay attention.  It’s as if you realize Fragility has been living in your house and you didn’t even see it. Continue reading

Lessons on the Trails: In Celebration of Dad’s Birthday 2013

Standard

Written in Celebration of Dad’s Birthday, October 2013

DSC_0190.JPG - Version 2

Stepping out of the car, we would open all the doors and begin putting together our backpacks.  Zip-lock baggies full of weathered camping supplies distributed amongst our packs. Freeze-dried meals and small snacks divided. The tents and sleeping bags strapped on.  Dad would carry the majority of the weight while still allowing me to carry my part so that I may know the feeling of bearing the weight of life’s bare essentials.  The hours spent combing Quest Outdoors, turning over the basement in search of supplies, plotting maps, and checking the list twice led up to that moment as we strapped on our backpacks and began to walk.

Turning one last time to see the car, we would say goodbye to civilization and enter into God’s creation – where all of our plans and control faded away and we were at the mercy of the wilderness.  Like the creatures that roamed the hills, for a short time we would become those who dwelled in the wild.

I always loved the way my dad’s soul would seem to come alive underneath the canopy of trees.  Awe overtook him and he became a child again – marveling at the wonder of creation. He would identify the towering trees above us in their Latin name.  He would point out the plants.  He would anticipate the beauty that lay right around the corner.  Nature is my dad’s sacred and magical playground.  It is the place where I learned some of the most important lessons life can offer. Continue reading

Baby Boy’s Dedication

Standard

Our words of dedication at Highland on August 28, 2013

Within these stone walls with their bursts of color, we have marked so many of life’s most sacred moments before this cloud of witnesses.  Here, I was dedicated as a baby, baptized, and ordained – and here, we were married and dedicated our first child as we entered into this journey of parenthood.  Today, it is our great honor and delight to come before you this day to dedicate our second child to God and to this beloved community. Continue reading

communion

Standard

“the deepest level of communication is not communication, but communion.  it is wordless.  it is beyond words, and it is beyond speech, and it is beyond concept.  not that we discover a new unity.  we discover an older unity.  my dear brothers and sisters, we are already one.  but we imagine that we are not.  and what we have to recover is our original unity.  what we have to be is what we are.”

~thomas merton

Lenten Journey of Balance: Humility & Confidence

Standard

eight days into lent, i keep coming back to the struggle for balance… losing one’s identity in efforts gain one’s identity in Christ… balance of being merely human while recognizing that Christ lives in us… the balance between humility & confidence.

“a humble man can do great things with an uncommon perfection because he is no longer concerned about incidentals, like his own interests and his own reputation, and therefore he no longer needs to waste his efforts in defending them.

for a humble man is not afraid of failure.  in fact, he is not afraid of anything, even of himself, since perfect humility implies perfect confidence in the power of God before whom no other power has any meaning and for whom there is no such thing as an obstacle.

humility is the surest sign of strength”

~ thomas merton

rowdy jesus

Standard

“Read the Gospels.  Read what this guy is really like.  He had a strong personality, he told jokes, his friends were all the wrong people, he liked to go to parties.  He didn’t start a lepers’ rights movement, he just healed lepers in his path.  He was far more severe about people who were judgmental than he was about people who committed adultery.  Love was always more important than anything else.  All of his miracles were done on the Sabbath.  God should have said, “Jesus, tone it down a bit.  Be a little more careful!”

~ Robert Wuthnow, Creative Spirituality: the Way of the Artist

hope that can shine in the darkest nights

Standard

read narrative of my life by frederick douglass yesterday in anticipation of my “frederick douglass” core theology class beginning monday… an autobiography that both challenged me to question the goodness of humanity but also to be comforted in the hope that is able to persist in the bleakest of circumstances.

“from my earliest recollection, i date the entertainment of a deep conviction that slavery would not always be able to hold me within its foul embrace; and in the darkest hours of my career in slavery, this living word of faith and spirit of hope departed not from me, but remained like ministering angels to cheer me through the gloom.  this good spirit was from God, and to him i offer thanksgiving and praise.” ~ frederick douglass

ash wednesday

Standard


“ash wednesday
and we are on our way
to your way.

o lamb of god,
have mercy upon us and
keep us from all the smalleness of our lives
that would take precedence
over kneeling in jerusalem”

– anne weems, kneeling in jerusalem

standing in the middle of the pool

Standard

“in short, if adolescents are to become practical theologians in their own right, we have to get them in the pool.  and that means that you and i have to stand in the middle of the pool ourselves, practicing our faith while holding out our hands, inviting the youth we love to jump into the christian community alongside us.”

~ kenda creasy dean in starting right: thinking theologically about youth ministry

merton, apples, and prayer

Standard

“merton once told me to quit trying so hard in prayer.  he said: ‘how does an apple ripen?  it just sits in the sun.’  a small green apple cannot ripen in one night by tightening all its muscles, squinting its eyes and tightening its jaw in order to find itself the next morning miraculously large, red, ripe, and juicy beside its small green counterparts.  like the birth of a baby or the opening of a rose, the birth of the true self takes place in god’s time.  we must wait for god, we must be awake; we must trust in his hidden action within us.”

~ from merton’s palace of nowhere by james finley